how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
