dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize