his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He has the fingertips of a God
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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