About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
These tits shall not be calmed
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
