check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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