Jerry, you need to find god
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
