how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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