this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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