That's intense
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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