i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
whose parrot is this?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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