i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
