this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
