fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
