doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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