Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
