So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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