I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
