K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
this will be a night to untag.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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