I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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