Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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