Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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