you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
