Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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