she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
His nipple licking is glorious
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