I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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