Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
