Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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