just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
