Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
