We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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