all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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