no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
