I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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