He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
