why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
