There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
