Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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