just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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