Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
