Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
