Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
