I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
