with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i barfeds in our rink
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
