I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
