My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
