glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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