he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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