i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have fence marks all over my body
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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