It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
