Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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