I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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