Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
