Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
