I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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