So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
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she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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