there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
