He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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