maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
