Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
