Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
