So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
