nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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